Sandwich Generation, Dementia, & Caregivers
You may be part of the Sandwich Generation. Do you or someone you know provide care or assistance to an elderly person with dementia?
For those of us who find ourselves attending to the needs of our children (even young adult children) and our elderly parents, it is easy to feel sandwiched between them in ways that can be stressful. According to Pew Research, there are an estimated 43.5 million Americans providing unpaid care to others who are over the age of fifty. My husband , my brother, and I have been among those 43.5 million and to some degree even as our daughters moved into their young adult years we are still finding ourselves part of what has come to be known as the sandwich generation.
If you or somone you know is sandwiched like I have been, I wanted to offer some insights, advice from experts I have encountered, and most of all hope to help you navigate these turbulent waters.
The statistics provide a good overview of the scope and extent of the problems facing the sandwich generation, but they do little to address the physical, emotional, and spiritual costs of caring for an elderly parent. For many unpaid caregivers just being able to look through a new lens or to have small ideas about how to manage an elderly parent’s behavior can feel like a lifeline; I know that occasionally as I watched first my father and then my mother succumb to the ravages of dementia it was sometimes the smallest suggestion that not only made a big difference but felt like I’d been thrown a lifeline. Those instances often opened an avenue that renewed my hope and made it a little easier to press on.
We are adding a new provider and developing more offerings.
NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS
New Provider Coming
Summer Huntley-Dale, PhD, NP-C will be joining Asheville Gynecology & Wellness in a few months. Summer is a nurse practitioner with a PhD who will be coming aboard in a few months. She will be available to see GYN patients for routine and problem oriented visits. She shares Asheville Gynecology & Wellness’s commitment to health and wellness. Summer has done additional training through Apeiron in the use of genomic testing to help design more precise plans for health improvement.
(Stay tuned for news regarding when she will begin scheduling appointments.)
Teaching Kitchen News
Dr. Scott was accepted to the Food-For-Life Instructor Training that will certify her kitchen to continue offering classes.
REFLECTIONS ON HEALTH INSURANCE
This year, more than many other years, public attention focused on the importance of healthcare and what can happen if health insurance becomes too expensive to afford. While the national debate about health insurances rages on, I want to offer another perspective on how we can all insure our health.
Many illnesses occurring in the USA are related to personal lifestyle choices. These lifestyle choices include one’s nutrition, physical activity and exercise, stress management, spiritual practices, and the degree to which one feels connected in community with others. Each of these items exerts powerful effects on health and disease
We are a culture who are driven by incessant interaction with computers, tablets, Kindles, and cell phones. This high-paced, stress-filled pattern leaves little time for community building, relationships with others, or cultivating a physical and emotional connections to animals and the earth. In addition, our foods are often laden with fats and sugars. Manufacturers seem to know that when consumers are stressed they will reach for calorically-dense foods packed with fats, sugars, and salt. These factors in combination with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle are known to contribute to many health problems. Many people wonder how they can change their current habits so that they can insure good health in the future.
I have been committed to raising patient’s awareness about what they can do that will have appositive impact on health. It is important to find ways to empower others to make the changes they desire to make. At Asheville Gynecology & Wellness, we emphasize Whole Food, Plant-based approaches because this approach consistently lowers cholesterol, regulates blood sugar and blood pressure, and reduces inflammatory processes. Our goal is to empower others to make lasting changes
I am excited to be going to our nation’s capitol in May to complete the Food-For-Life Instructor Training. This is an intensive program that will help me translate nutrition research into community education. We plan to soon be accepting enrollment for classes beginning in mid-August 2017.
I love the Thanksgiving holiday. It is a time when Americans gather with family and friends to express gratitude for the blessings we enjoy throughout the year.
Photos by Dr. Scott’s daughter, Sarah~2015.
This year my heart is overflowing with thankfulness and gratitude to each person who helped me create the physical space, the logistics, and the atmosphere that has become Asheville Gynecology & Wellness.
We are working hard at making Asheville Gynecology & Wellness a center that cares for the gynecology needs of women in a safe, nurturing environment.
Each of the people and businesses listed below played a role in helping the vision of Asheville Gynecology & Wellness come to life. My deepest thanks to everyone.
Photo by Sarah Scott-Cruz~Ithaca, NY
Dan Cropper of Straight Edge Marketing
Jane Mathews, Adam Perry, and the staff of Mathews Architecture
Tim Harrison of Whitney Realty
Lizzie Vann of Gerber Village
Bill Roberts of Spake Realty
Jeremy Bonner and his entire crew at AB Construction and his subcontractors.
Rick Harrington &the crew of Harrington Electric Inc.
Glenda Cordray Deanne of Indoff Interior
Jason Higgins and the crew ofLENTZ CABINETS & ASSOCIATES, LLC
Ed Israel of Carpet One
Bob Higgins and Ed Cooper ESE
David Wessell and staff at Ringfree
AL Odom Locksmiths
Jill Schwartzkopf of Realities Photography
Carla Henry of First Citizens
Jane Hatley of Self Help Credit Union
David Keller and Dawne Tunkle of Doctors Management
Julie Austin & Dr. Curran of Pisgah Fmaily Practice
Shevell Martin of innerQuest Psychiatry & Counseling
David Bullington and staff at Bullington Associates
Christy Mayberry from Labcorp
Julie at PML
Darrell Poole McKesson Medical-Surgical Carolinas
Daphne Urquhart CPA
Pam Crystal and Cathy Sonocare
Laura Webb, Carrie Martin, and Gwen Gadd of Webb Investment Services
Webb Insurance and Travelers Insuarnace
Western Carolina Women’s Speciality
Sarah Anderson of Elite Group
Chiron Publications and innerQuest, a Division of Chiron Publications
Central United Methodist Church Asheville
“If you read Genesis 2, God originally meant to bless us with work.”—Dr. Rob Blackburn
“Everyone here has everything it takes to be what Martin Luther called, ‘little Christs’ in your work.”—Dr. Rob Blackburn
Shane Pressley and his crew for the Sound System.
Charles Webb and Joe for their expert IT and Network Support.
Photo by Emily Scott-Cruz
Photo by Emily Scott-Cruz.
Len Cruz Sarah Scott-Cruz Emily Scott-Cruz
Daniel Cruz Nellie Cruz Tania Cruz Andrea Cruz Rachel and Todd Auwater
Marie Scott David Scott Thom Scott Jody Scott Warren Scott Doris Scott
Friends and Staff:
Thompson family: Leah, Mark Grace, Emma, Caroline Thompson and Michelle and Doug Petty
Brenda Snelson Kristin Walker Laura Broome
Carol Jones Brooke Twiss Sandy Trull Caroline Norvell
Eva and Reza Setayish
Drs. Megan Daw, Nancy Howden, Michelle LeBlanc, Evelyn Lyles, James Theofrastous of WNCSC
Dr. Susan West of Laurel OB/GYN
Drs. Steve Buser, Len Cruz, Rick Smoot, Sam Thielman & Megan Reilly Buser of innerQuest Psychiatry & Counseling
Time for reflection.
Domestic Abuse and Dating Abuse
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and what starts out like a loving, attentive relationship can become abusive very quickly. Women in dating relationships can find themselves in terrible danger just as much as married women. As women across America prepare to head off to college I thought a blog about Dating Abuse would be timely.
I hope that violence never visits you or any woman you love, but if it does, it is important to know that help is available.
Abusers are deceiving
According to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline‘s website “…many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.”
Signs to look for
There are warning signs that you should learn about.
- Jealousy and insecurity by your partner
- Possessiveness and False accusations
- Frequent put-downs or hurtful, belittling comments
- Temper outbursts and explosiveness
- Attempts to isolate you from your family
- Checking cell phones, emails or social networks without permission
- Inflicting physical pain and/or rough treatment.
- Frequent efforts to control what you do, who you see, where you go
- Repeatedly pressuring you to have sex
LoveisRespect.org has a page that provides a powerful visual image they’ve titled the Power and Control Wheel. Visit the site to see the various ways that Power and Control manifest in abusive relationships. While you are there read a first person account of a young woman who saw a relationship turn negative suddenly Recognizing the Signs .
Why do you stay?
There are many reasons* people remain in abusive relationships that include:
- Believing Abuse is Normal
- Embarrassment or Shame
- Low Self-Esteem
- Love: So often, the victim feels love for their abusive partner.
- Cultural/Religious Reasons
- Language Barriers/Immigration Status
- Lack of Money/Resources: Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially dependent on their abusive partner.
*Adapted from The National Domestic Violence Hotline “Why Don’t They Just Leave?”
Here is a video from CBS News made by Teen Advocates on Dating Abuse
Help is available
The most important thing is to know that there are resources and support. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has compiled statistics on Domestic Violence and studies have shown that 1 in 4 women have been subjected to severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
In Asheville and Buncombe County:
In Henderson County:
In Macon County:
A Raised Hand (article from The New Yorker)
What to do if you are in an abusive relationship.
If you are in an abusive relationship or you begin to suspect that you are, reach out to someone. If you can’t bring yourself to talk to a friend, your family, your professor, or your doctor, then consider calling one of the resources above.
Did you know that you can donate your old cellphone to help victims of Domestic Violence? Verizon has a program called Hopeline that takes donated phones and with the money raised provides grants and resources to address domestic violence.